Blue Horizon
by FHFAN3
Summary: 4 years after Mark's passing, Becky still has difficulty coping, until she meets someone who could change the course of her life.
1. Chapter 1

Becky dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. Four years after Mark's passing, she still struggled with the loss. It was too painful to think of moving on. She decided to attend group therapy. Becky finished showering and splattered a little makeup on her face.

When Becky walked into the waiting room, only one person was there. She sat down across from him and tried to keep to herself.

"Seems a bit weird being here." He said.

"Yeah, I feel a bit weird too."

He looked up and noticed her flawless smile. "So….you don't come here often?"

Becky laughed. "First time."

"Yeah, me too. I'm Ryan."

"I'm Becky."

"So what part of you is broken?" Ryan asked. "My heart is broken. My wife died."

"Really? Mine too." Becky replied, "I mean not my wife, my husband." She chuckled.

"Good." Ryan laughed, "You don't play for the opposite team. I was worried when you implied that your wife died."

"I don't play for the opposite team." Becky laughed.

"My wife died in childbirth." Ryan admitted.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Becky replied.

"Thanks. What about you?"

"My husband overdosed." Becky sighed. "I never even knew he was using."

"Wow. I'm really sorry."

"Thanks. So your wife died in childbirth...does that mean you're a single daddy?"

"Yeah, it's not an ideal situation, but we're making it work. My daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me."

"How old is she?"

"She's three." Ryan replied.

"Aw! Three is a fun age. They're so cute, and full of energy and life."

"She's definitely full of energy." Ryan laughed.

"Typical three year old!"

"How long ago did your husband pass?"

"Four years ago." Becky replied. "I've just never been the same. I thought I'd give this a try."

"Do you have kids?"

"No." Becky sighed. "Never had kids."

"You seem a bit disappointed by that."

"Mark and I tried for awhile...over a year. I never got pregnant. Now I'm thirty five. I feel like it's too late now to try to start a family, and I haven't met anyone since Mark died."

"It's never too late to try to start a family. Even if you can't….there's always adoption."

"Why did I just tell you my life story?" Becky questioned.

"I don't know your life story." Ryan laughed. "All you've told me is that you're a woman with hopes and dreams, like all of us have. And you're a little bit broken, but this is group therapy, we're ALL a little bit broken here."

Once the session started, the pair sat on opposite sides of the room. Becky didn't even notice him staring at her every time she talked, and a few times when she wasn't talking.

Becky got her stuff together after the session and started to leave.

"So Becky.." Ryan called out. "You gonna be here next week?"

Becky nodded, "As long as my heart hurts, I'll be here."

"I'll be here too."

Becky smiled and continued to her car. She decided to take a drive. She found herself parked outside of her parents house. Becky walked inside and found her sister, seated at the kitchen table.

"Hey Darlene." Becky said, sitting down. "Haven't seen you in awhile."

"I'm still on the planet." Darlene said, sarcastically. "I guess I've sort of missed you."

"Aww! Come here!" Becky said, forcing her into a hug.

"Yeah okay, that's enough. A little too much hugging."

"There's never too much hugging! I just got done with group therapy, they taught us that it's okay to hug and express feelings."

"Yikes. I would not like group therapy." Darlene teased. "So besides the weird express your feelings crap, how was your group therapy session?"

"It was good, I feel like I got a little something out of it."

"What's his name?" Darlene chuckled.

"It's not about a guy."

"Yeah, right. And I own stock in computers. Come on. I know you, Becky. We shared a room together. It's written all over your face."

"That bad, huh?"

"I didn't think you'd be interested in meeting anyone."

"I'm really not." Becky replied. "I mean, I kinda liked him….but we both have issues. We're in group therapy! And he has a kid."

"He has a kid?"

"His wife died in childbirth."

"Wow." Darlene replied. "How sad. How old is the kid?"

"Three."

"Aw! You can be an instant mommy, Becky. Go for it!"

"I don't even know if he's single. I'm sure it wouldn't work out even if I were interested. We both have too much emotional baggage from our losses."

"Or…..maybe it would work out." Darlene suggested.


	2. Chapter 2

The next week, Becky arrived a bit early. Luckily for her, he was already there, once again. "Hey Ryan."

"Hey Becky. Ready for round two?"

"Yeah. I hope this helps today. Tomorrow would've been Mark's birthday. I hate doing this without him."

"I know how you feel."

"How's your daughter?"

"She's good. She's going to start preschool soon. I have to go sign her up."

"Wow, preschool? Already?"

"Well, she'll be there for about two years. She can't start kindergarten until she's five. She'll learn a lot in preschool while she's there, though. It'll be good for her."

"What's her name?"

"Ava."

"That's a cute name."

Ryan pulled out his phone, "Would you like to see a picture?"

"Sure."

Ryan pulled up a photo and passed his phone.

"Aww! She's darling. Blonde hair blue eyes! Beautiful girl."

"Thank you. She looks a lot like her mom. Actually...you kind of remind me of her mom."

Becky didn't respond.

"I'm sorry. That's kind of awkward that I said that."

"Did she ever meet her mom?"

"Her mom died two hours after she was born. She held her once."

"You never thought about remarrying?"

"I haven't really brought myself to date again and I know it would take a special woman to love both me and her."

"I mean, most women like kids…"

"Yeah, but a lot of single women either don't want that overwhelming responsibility of filling the mom role, or they already have their own kids."

"What do you do for work?" Becky asked.

"I'm a teacher."

Becky remained silent for the rest of the night. She didn't even say goodbye after the session. Once again, she found herself sitting at the table with Darlene.

"He's a teacher. I feel like a loser. I couldn't even tell him what I do, there's no way he'd ever be interested in a waitress."

"You don't know that." Darlene encouraged, "Maybe he likes having a woman who will take orders from him."

"Very funny."

"Becky seriously, you shouldn't be ashamed of your job. If there's really anything there between you, your job won't matter to him. Did you find out if he's single?"

"He said he hasn't been able to date."

"Okay, so he's single. Do you know how old he is?"

"He's thirty six."

"Perfect! You're thirty five! Damn Becky, I'd go for it."

"He probably makes forty thousand dollars a year. He won't be interested when he finds out I work as a waitress. I need a drink…."

"You know what, instead of self-medicating with alcohol, why don't you talk to this guy? I mean just what little I've heard about him, he sounds good, Becky. You need good in your life. You deserve good."

Becky sighed.

"Does the kid part bother you?"

"I haven't met her….but the fact that he has a kid doesn't bother me."

"Do you want kids?"

"I'm too old."

"Not necessarily. Women are having babies in their 40s now."

"Rich women who aren't waitresses, maybe."

"Becky, if you hate your job, change it. Go back to school. Don't let your unhappiness with your job decide your fate. It sounds like you kinda like this guy. So try it! Go out with him. How much different would your life be if you had never met Mark?"

"Well, I'd probably be less depressed."

"You'd also be way less independent. Mark really encouraged your independence."

"Why do I keep coming back here and having these conversations with you?"

"Because they're conversations that your heart needs to have. And I'm your sister. Like it or not, cradle to grave you're stuck with me."

"MOMMY!" Mark yelled, running.

"Mom Mark fell and scraped his knee." Harris said.

"What happened buddy?" Darlene checked his knee. "It's okay. It's just a scratch." Darlene picked him up and held him against her.

Becky sat there staring at them and smiling.

"You want this, don't you Becky? You can lie to me and say no and you can whine about your age. You're kidding yourself, Becky. You want this really bad. You want a family. You want kids whining at you and running to you calling you mom. You wanted it so bad with Mark, and it didn't happen and you're scared to let another man in. And what are you scared of? That it might work out?"

"I'm not having this conversation anymore."

"You can refuse the conversation, but it's true and you know it's true. Your job does not define who you are, Becky. You have a lot going for you."


	3. Chapter 3

Becky spent the next two weeks attending her sessions, but avoiding Ryan. She purposely arrived late, just to avoid talking beforehand. She also purposely left as soon as the sessions ended.

She was hopeful that she could avoid him, but fate stepped in.

Becky arrived at work and clocked in, then took over tables. She began making drinks at the bar. She noticed a small group of men walk in out of the corner of her eye. "Sit anywhere you want, guys, I'll be right with you."

Becky turned around and saw a familiar face, seated at the table. "Becky?"

Becky sighed, but had to give them menus. She approached the table. "Welcome. Can I get you started with drinks?"

"You work here?"

"Yeah." Becky replied. She took drink orders, "I'll be right back with your drinks."

Ryan got up and went after her. "Becky?"

"What?"

"You've been giving me the cold shoulder lately. Did I do something?"

"Come on, Ryan. You have a real career."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm a waitress. I'm poor. You're a teacher. We both know you can and will do better than me."

Becky turned around and started to walk away.

"Wait!" Ryan called out. "But what if I don't want to do better?"

"Why would you want to hold yourself and Ava back?"

"Because I don't think I'm holding us back." Ryan replied, "I want to give this a shot, Becky. Can we have dinner tomorrow night?"

"You mean like...a date?"

"If you're okay with calling it that."

"Why would you want to date a waitress?"

"Because I see that waitress has a good heart. And….I'm not gonna lie, that waitress is really easy on the eyes…"

Becky laughed. "It doesn't bother you that I didn't finish college and get a real job?"

"It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you. I don't care if you're a waitress, I mean, at least you have a job!"

"Why wouldn't it bother you?"

"You know, you're insecure." Ryan said. "And I don't know why you're so insecure, Becky. I mean I don't know you that well, but just from what little I know, you're a great person. And you're beautiful. I want to get to know you."

Becky sighed.

"Were you this difficult when Mark first asked you out?"

"No. I was more confident back then."

"I don't know why you wouldn't be confident now. From this angle, you have a lot going for you."

"What time tomorrow night?"

"Pick you up at six?"

"Alright." Becky replied.

The next evening….

Ryan pulled out her chair. "Thanks."

They both sat down and reviewed the menu.

"So how has Ava been?" Becky asked.

"She's good. I signed her up for preschool."

"That's good. Is she excited?"

"Yeah, she is. She's very social. She loves people."

"My nephew is only two, but I can already tell he's the same way. His name is also Mark."

"Cute! Two is a fun age. Lots of tantrums."

"He's a pretty good little guy. If he gives me too much trouble I just hand him back to my sister."

"That's the best part when they're not your kids. Giving them back."

"Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if it had worked out. If Mark and I would've gotten pregnant, our baby would've been four now."

"It's really hard on a child to lose a parent. I know you wanted kids, but it's kind of a blessing in disguise that you didn't have any. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just reality."

"Does she miss her mom?"

"She misses having a mom, she knows all of the other kids have a mom. There are certain things I can't do, like braid her hair. Those are the times when both of us miss her mom the most."

"That's hard."

"Well, we do it day by day and we keep getting through it. Hoping each day gets a little bit better than yesterday was."

"What grade do you teach?"

"Third."

"Wow. That must be fun."

"The kids definitely keep me on my toes. Kids are great. My wife and I were hoping for three or four kids."

"Wow. Three or four, that's a house full of kids."

"I'm okay if I never have another one, though. If it's just me and Ava, at least I have her. What about you? Kids? I know you're good with kids…"

"I'm just worried about my age." Becky replied. "If I were in a relationship, I would be willing to try. I love kids, I would love to experience that…but I know that if I can even get pregnant, the clock is ticking fast."

"I haven't heard about your family."

"They're crazy." Becky laughed. "My mom and dad are very loving and they've been married since before I was born, but they're crazy. My mom is really funny. Her sister, aunt Jackie, is also around. Then there's my brother, DJ, his wife Geena, and they have a baby, Mary."

"Wow. Good sized family."

"My sister, Darlene, also lives in town and has two kids."

"My family is kind of scattered. They come up for holidays, though. I have a sister who lives in Florida with her husband and son. And my brother lives in Virginia. My parents are local, though. They moved up here from New York to help out with Ava."


	4. Chapter 4

The waiter soon brought their food. Becky took just a few bites, then Ryan suddenly heard his phone ring. "Shoot. That's my mom. I really need to take this, she's watching Ava…"

"That's fine, I understand.

Ryan got up and walked away. He returned a few minutes later.

"Everything okay?"

"Actually….no. Ava is running a fever."

"Oh my god."

"Becky, I hate to do this, but I really need to go."

"I understand. It's okay."

"I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"It's fine, I need to go home anyways." Becky got her keys and started walking towards her car. She fidgeted with her phone, trying to text Darlene, as she walked.

Once at the car, Becky's phone rang. She answered it, while she was fumbling with her keys.

Ryan walked out and was parked nearby as well. He ducked when he overheard the conversation.

"I can't tell him that when we've only been on half a date!"

"You know, Darlene, I do like him…but I know in my heart that he could do so much better. And maybe that's why it ended so abruptly tonight. Maybe he's starting to realize it, too."

"Stop." Ryan called out.

Becky abruptly ended the call. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough."

"I do think you could do a lot better."

"I guarantee you that my kid really is sick. And I like what I see here. Why would I want to do better?"

"I haven't been the same since Mark died."

"I get that. But Becky, he would want you to move on and be happy. You're insecure, and I don't get it, you're beautiful and you have a good sense of humor and you're smart and easy to talk to."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Really. I'm really sorry I have to leave but it has nothing to do with you. I like you. I'd hope there's more dates where I can get to know you better."

"Really? You like me even though I'm insecure?"

"I think we can fix insecure. Or at least work on it."

"I can work on it."

"Do you….wanna go home with me?"

"What?"

"I mean, what if we go back to my place, check on Ava? You can meet Ava, you can meet my mom, we can talk a bit on the way. And I can drive you back here to get your car."

"Well I kept tonight free….so, why not?"

20 minutes later…...

A tiny blonde girl came running up to the door, "DAAAAADYYYY!"

"Hey pumpkin!" Ryan said, picking her up. "Grandma said you're not feeling well?"

Ryan put his head to her forehead. "You're definitely burning up, baby. You need to go to bed."

"Mom...this is Becky. Becky, this is my mom."

"Hi." Becky smiled, "It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"And this…." Ryan said, "Becky, this is Ava. Ava, this is Becky."

"HI!" Ava said.

"Hi Ava." Becky smiled. "Nice to meet you!"

"You're pretty!" Ava observed.

"Aww! Thank you."

Ava wiggled from her dad's arms and proceeded to get out her toys. Ava handed Becky a fake piece of food. "Yum!" Becky pretended to eat it, "That's sooo good! You're an amazing chef!"

"Don't eat the food!" Ava said, "First you have to cook it!"

"Oh! Well how do we do that?!"

"You put it in the oven! Duh!"

"Duh!" Becky laughed. "Okay, I'm putting it in the oven, how long does it need to stay in the oven?"

"Um...Okay it's done!"

"Wow. That oven cooks fast!" Becky laughed.

"Eat it!"

"Are you sure it won't burn my mouth?"

"Just eat it!"

"Okay." Becky laughed.

"You're great with kids." Ryan observed.

"Thanks. I have a nephew, and two nieces. My oldest niece is eight. My nephew is two and my other niece is a year."

"You need to go to bed, baby." Ryan said. "Want daddy to tuck you in?"

"Yeah!"

Ryan turned to Becky. "I'll just be a minute. Feel free to sit down or help yourself to something in the kitchen."

"Grandma will come tuck you in, too."

Ryan and his mom took Ava to her room. Becky stared at the various family photos on the walls, and smiled.

"Daddy?" Ava tugged on his shirt.

"What?"

"I like her."

"She seems nice Ry."

"She is nice, ma."

"She is beautiful, too. And good with kids!"

"Yeah. I like her. But I'm not so sure that she likes me."

Meanwhile…..Becky spoke to Darlene in a whisper over the phone.

"Becky...you know, it's not betraying Mark to move on. He would want you to be happy. He would want you to try to meet someone and start a family."

"Whatever. I'm not having this conversation."

"Alright but if we don't have this conversation, I'm going to group therapy and I'll tell him myself."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Wouldn't I?"

"I do kinda like him, Darlene, and I like his mom and daughter so far..."

"So go for it."

"It's too complicated. Not only do I have to win him over….but his kid."

"How old is the kid again?"

"She's Three."

"Well that's easy! Three year olds don't take much to win over! You're great with kids."

"I was playing with her just now."

"Perfect! Playing with a three year old is all it really takes to win them over."

"Yeah, until she sees me making out with daddy."

"She'll get used to it. She's only three. She's easy to guide. It would be a lot harder if she were ten."


End file.
